I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
