Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Holy sore nipples Batman
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
