It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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