you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
