the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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