no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize