so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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