nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
