I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
