I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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