i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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