The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
