Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
