You just made me feel so damn special
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
