I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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