Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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