Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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