Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
How does it feel to date your dad?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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