Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
