everyone is single if you try hard enough
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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