you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
