I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
