We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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