so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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