wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
