In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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