All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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