I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize