he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
should my penis look like a turkey
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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