just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
