i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
vagina is talking i cant
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Why is your signature on my underwear?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
