its not stalking. its research.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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