Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
