I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Two words: nipple clamps
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