MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
