I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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