i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
