And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
