I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
