I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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