I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
