yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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