I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
