Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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