Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
