trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Success! We fucked roommates!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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