I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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