SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
