I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
