The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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