My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
