Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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