Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
