if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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