Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize