Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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