she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
