don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
