i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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