Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
