Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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