Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
