Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize